did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hippo gnu deer
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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