Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
