My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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