Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
