stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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