Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
