I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
