i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want to make out with him forever
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
