I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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