I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
