id be glad to
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
