Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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