I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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