Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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