Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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