FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
