i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
