How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize