super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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