Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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