The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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