I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
