rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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