nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
