She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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