This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
