I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
