I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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