I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize