Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
