And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
