don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
