nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
