Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
