I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude i'm inner monologue high
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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