i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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