I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize