So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
