my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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