evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
