glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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