It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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