She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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