What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
