awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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