I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
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