I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
