holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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