we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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