hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
