i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
