i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
