Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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