doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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