go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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