i think i have herpe
just one?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
