Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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