This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
