There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
