i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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