Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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