it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i am craving dick and cupcakes
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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