I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
