we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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