I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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