I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
