You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize