11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
