Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
