Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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