If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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