ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
