Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
