i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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