apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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