two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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