i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
