Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
