Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
