the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
