Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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