forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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