I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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